


Ma Nico Mio Caro (But My Dear Nico)

by orphan_account



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Feels, M/M, Nico & Reyna Friendship, Nico Feels, Oneshot, Post-The Heroes of Olympus, after the Giant War, how do we define better?, nico gets better?, nico is on the road to being in a better place, solangelo but not like a picture-perfect kinda thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2016-12-18
Packaged: 2018-09-09 09:58:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8886538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Why there are pieces of her left behind, Nico does not know. Yet he finds them everywhere. He finds them in the smear of freckles across the bridge of some new demigod’s nose, in the army green floppy hat that he sees in some tourist trap shop window, in the way that Hazel chides him for all the dumb shit, in the January snow that casts a spell of silence over camp.-I wrote this on a whim. It's virtually unedited 'cause I'm a lazy bean.Title is from "Soldatino (Nico's Lullaby)" By Paola Bennet on SoundCloud. Go check it out.





	

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for stopping by. this was just a short little thing. hope it's acceptable. it's essentially directionless and was to satisfy a need to write a thing.

 

 

Why there are pieces of her left behind, Nico does not know. Yet he finds them everywhere. He finds them in the smear of freckles across the bridge of some new demigod’s nose, in the army green floppy hat that he sees in some tourist trap shop window, in the way that Hazel chides him for all the dumb shit, in the January snow that casts a spell of silence over camp.

 

It was so cold outside when he felt it. Her death. It still chills him. Chills him from within. No amount of time will make the feelings thaw. Numb, immature rage and stupid choices that turned into numb, feels-like-giving-up acceptance (and possibly less stupid choices, depending on how you look at it).

 

And so, after the war of giants has ended and after the chaos of battle and sorrow of loss have subsided, the numbness remains. Numbness and hopelessness and loneliness and all the other lovelies that perfectly belong under the textbook definition of “depression.”

  


-

 

Will Solace may be a healer, but on most days, he makes things worse. The pushiness, the brightness that scorches the son of Hades, the glare that blinds him. Yeah, he’s got a crush on the idiot, but between the fact that said idiot has probably doesn’t like him and the fact the said idiot has yet to consistently respect the boundaries Nico has clearly laid, a relationship would never work.

 

A relationship would never work. That what he tells himself. What he tells himself until the moment the pair of them share a messy (and mutual) first kiss under the stars.

 

“So… uh… are we a thing now?” The moment was electric. Just like every other moment with Will. Electric and infuriating in ways that Nico knows it shouldn’t be. Regardless, he stays close and gets closer. Closer to the sun, drawn in - accelerating and defying the laws of gravity.

 

“Yes,” Will breathes in the warm air. And his smile makes up for all of Nico’s hesitations. _Idiota in amore._ (Idiot in love.) The dumb puppy love kind of love complete with catty bickering and awkwardness and fifteen year olds who’ve seen war and monsters and lived a few times over already.

 

-

 

Summer arrives. Nico’s heart has yet to thaw. It has yet to open itself, although now he can feel the heat of the sun. The summer sun and the Will Solace sun.

 

The relationship lives up to its promise of messiness. Everyone thinks the whole thing is adorable once they come out. Death boy and the sun of Apollo. They think it’s adorable in the patronizing type of way. But really, as long as no one that Nico really cares about are jackasses about it, he's mostly psyched himself into not giving too many shits.

 

And now that he can feel the (comforting) warmth of the sun, he basks in it. He follows the seven of prophecy plus Reyna, minus still absent Leo, plus his significant annoyance to the beach one early August day. Under his dark shirt, his skin is still pale as the snow that fell and covered everything five years (was it really five years) ago the day he sealed his fate in the form of a crack in the flagstone. [a/n sorry for that abomination of a sentence.] But his arms are now tan like they were when he was (gods forbid) _happy._ He’s not happy, per say. He’s content now. Content in the way that allows really really bad days (and really really good days, too.) He’s starting to get this thing called accepting yourself.

 

He finds another piece of her there. There on that beach as Percy and Annabeth frolick like children in the waves and Piper and Hazel play beach volleyball and Jason takes a cat nap and Reyna watches Will pointedly as he speaks animatedly about something clearly humorous to him. The piece of Bianca that Nico finds is unconditional love. Unconditional love like the kind he had yet to receive from Will but was already (and obliviously) receiving from the Roman praetor and his golden sister and maybe even from the strained reaching outs of his father. Love that had once only been supplied from Bianca.

 

_Close your eyes._

_I know what you see._

  
  
_‘I see you. Always you. Always the little pieces of you._ Mia sorella Bianca.’ The little voice in his head whispers to the world.

**Author's Note:**

> please give feedback if you have any.


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